Life, intentionally

Last time I blogged, I got pretty real about my struggle with postpartum depression.

I’d like to get real again and sing the praises of my doctor and modern medicine. I started medication for my PPD over a month ago. It has been quite literally life changing. I feel like I have walked out of a haze and fog into the brilliant sunlight. It has helped my mind return to equilibrium. 

Since starting the medication, I have found so much joy in motherhood. Part of that has been the SSRIs, and part, I’d like to think, has been my resolve to live more intentionally. What you may not know is that I suffered from debilitating depression my entire second pregnancy. One day I’ll write about it. But not yet.

During the thick of it all, I felt like my life was out of control. I felt I lived my life reactively rather than proactively, a victim to my mental condition. I hated it, and often felt trapped. Medication has been a wonderful answer for my PPD battle, because it has allowed me to take control of my life and my motherhood, empowering me to make to live intentionally and proactively. And happily!

Medication may not be the best option for everyone – I totally get that. Therapy is also an invaluable tool. If you are struggling, there is no shame in it. I’d like to think I’m pretty awesome, and I really struggled with PPD. Please, get the help you need. If you have questions, I’m clearly an open book. Please ask! I’d love to talk.

The days are still long, and the tantrums, meltdowns and demands of motherhood are still trying. But I am in such a better place and I’m so grateful to my Savior and modern medicine for helping me get there.

Part of my new resolve to live more intentionally is to fill my days with goodness for my family and me. We are soaking up every minute of summer. Now that Bellamy is a little older, she has made all the magic of summer come to life. We eat popsicles, beat the heat of our apartment (NO A/C!) at the splash pad, read books and create art. She is a blast and I am so grateful to be able to be mentally and emotionally present for this phase of our lives.

Yet I still find myself trying to come up with creative ways to add variety to our weeks, and turn of the TV. So we’ve created a bucket list!

It started as a summer bucket list, but we’ve since expanded it to a Rexburg bucket list. Eric is graduating in December and we are going to be soon closing the Rexburg chapter of our lives. More on that later, but we have a lot we still need to do before we leave!

So here it is, the Whitlock Family Rexburg Bucket List:

  1. Take a picture in front of the Rexburg, Idaho wall (Done!)
  2. Visit the zoo
  3. Fly a kite
  4. Tour the fire station
  5. Go camping in Yellowstone
  6. Do an endowment session in the Idaho Falls Temple
  7. Teton Valley Balloon Rally (Done!)
  8. Visit Driggs
  9. Visit Jackson
  10. Buy a Soda Vine shirt
  11. Make out in the gardens
  12. Hike R Mountain
  13. Paddle board at the Cable Factory
  14. Finish the summer reading program with Bell
  15. Make a bird feeder (Done!)
  16. Take swimming lessons (Bellamy)
  17. Visit the IF aquarium when it opens
  18. Make sugar cookies
  19. Feed the ducks
  20. Ride the carousel
  21. Survive the eclipse
  22. See a movie at the Drive-in
  23. Take family pictures
  24. Go to the Madison County Fair
  25. Get Eric a haircut
  26. Go to the ice caves
  27. Take a selfie with the LOVE wall
  28. Snow shoe
  29. Take a picture in a wheat field
  30. Visit Bear World

I’m going to try to blog more of our adventures, so if you’d like to follow along, stay tuned or follow this blog!

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