Tonight I took my first sip of poison.
It started out harmless, really. All I did was click on the first result that popped up from a quick Google search.
That’s all it took for the poison to enter my brain.
At first, all I could register was confusion. What in the world was I looking at?
And then my confusion morphed into horror as I understood. All I felt was revulsion and the need to put as much distance between myself and the filth as possible.
I muted the computer and lowered the laptop screen, still sitting in a state of shock.
“Did you just find porn?” my husband asked me. My reaction, combined with the awful sounds from the website, shocked him.
I couldn’t speak for a few minutes.
This was my first exposure to hard-core pornography. Now, believe me, my life has not been spared from the cruel tentacles of this addiction. Pornography has mercilessly hooked itself into several facets of my life.
But until now, I had personally remained somewhat unscathed from the poison itself. The worst I had seen was a image on a DVD of a very photoshopped topless woman or the few pages of one of the “Twilight” books I skipped during a steamy make out scene. And while, no, I don’t think “Twilight” is pornography, I didn’t like the way either of them made me feel.
Tonight those previous feelings were child’s play.
Tonight I felt dirty. I felt betrayed. I felt defiled. And worst of all, I felt curious.
Suddenly, I felt a new level of compassion for my family and friends who have struggled to break free from the grasp of this demon for years. Some have been successful. Others continue to struggle. And my heart is so heavy for them.
Friends, I want to fight with you.
Pornography is a drug. And we don’t talk enough about it. If you want scientific reasoning for why you should eradicate pornography from your life instantly, visit this site. I can’t offer you that.
What I can offer you is a simple statement from a woman of faith.
I know God. I know his plan for me and for his children. It’s to live after the manner of his son, Jesus Christ.
It’s a plan from love to love — love God, love your neighbor, love yourself.
I see no love in pornography. I see no love in the lies and hidden shame that comes from it. I see no love in the way it tears families apart at the seam. I see no love in the way that it becomes a vicious addiction.
I want it made clear to my friends and my family — my husband, my daughter and our future children — I am a fierce fighter against pornography. I raise my voice with many others to say it will destroy our society. It will destroy our homes. It will destroy our families.
IF WE LET IT.
I refuse to let it annihilate everything I hold dear.
I am grateful for a husband who supports me in this as in all things. WE are fierce fighters against pornography.
For us, it started with a conversation. It was difficult and a bit awkward, but we started a dialogue before we were even engaged. Throughout our courtship, engagement and now marriage, we have had many discussions about the dangers of pornography and how we both plan to keep our home and our marriage a sacred place.
Our life is a holy place and we WILL NOT BE MOVED.
Start to conversation today.
Let’s fight together.